Lately, the world has felt quite heavy. For me, prior to COVID, everything was going pretty smoothly. In the months that have followed, however, life has felt heavier, harder, and more confusing. While the world has always been full of terrible struggle, it seems for me that yesterday, I was asleep to the plights of others, and today, I am wide awake, grappling with the implications of this seismic shift in my reality and unsure of what I can possibly do about it.
I had a conversation with a dear friend a couple of months ago who acknowledged her own struggle with faith amid so much turmoil, and I was grateful for her honesty. Through radical honesty, we can start to exercise trust in God. I love these words from the song Bigger Than I Thought by Passion: “So I throw all my cares before You—my doubts and fears don’t scare You. You’re bigger than I thought You were, You’re bigger than I thought. And I stop all negotiations with the God of all creation. You’re bigger than I thought You were. You’re bigger than I thought You were.”
In my experience, doubts and fears have drawn me closer to the Father, brought me down to my knees both literally and figuratively. I’m reminded to ask myself, “Who laid the foundations of the Earth? Who gave breath to everything? Who sustains my soul in this very moment?” How did living by my own strength and authority cause me to confuse the intentions of my Father with the present circumstances of my life? When did I ever not need my Lord?
Once more, today’s Scripture: “He himself gives life and breath to everything, and he satisfies every need.”
Grab a pencil and a journal. Allow yourself to pour out your heart to God. Let it all out, and release any shame or guilt that you’re tempted to attach to those feelings. God is bigger than all of it, and you can trust His intentions for your life.