Baggage Claim — Unzipped - Tuesday
Today’s Verse
Jonah 4:3-4
Therefore now, O Lord, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live.” And the Lord said, “Do you do well to be angry?” (ESV)
I’ve had seasons where joy was a STRUGGLE. especially when other people seemed to be thriving and I was just… surviving. I’d scroll through pictures and updates about engagements, job promotions, and vacations, and I’d feel this bitterness growing in me. I wasn’t actually mad at them, I was mad at how stuck I felt. I was mad at how those things weren’t true of my story and didn’t even seem to be coming soon.
Bitterness obviously isn’t new. In Jonah 4, after God showed mercy to the people of Nineveh, Jonah really lost it. Depending on your version, he basically says, “I knew you were gracious and that’s why I didn’t want to do what you asked,” and puts the dramatic cherry on top with a “Just kill me now.” He wasn’t just mad at the people; more dangerously, he was mad at God’s kindness. God had given grace to people Jonah thought didn’t deserve it. It’s a scary place to be when you start trying to filter out who God should show grace to, because it starts with the assumption you deserve grace. I’d rather not have that spotlight.
The part of the story I want to point out is that God doesn’t chastise or punish Jonah. He asks him the same question twice, “Do you do well to be angry?” The first time, we don’t even see Jonah answering. Rather, he sulks, sitting under a tree, half waiting to see if God might change His mind and destroy the entire city anyway.
In my experience, bitterness is sadness and frustration left unresolved. When we feel let down by life, people, or even God, it’s easy to harden our hearts. But, like the end of Jonah 4, God doesn’t desert us in these moments. He draws near. He asks us hard, healing questions just like He did Jonah.
I’ve been like Jonah. I’ve wanted God to explain Himself, and I’ve wished He’d just do what I expected. But healing often starts when we allow ourselves to grieve what we lost instead of holding fast to what we wanted.
REFLECTION
What unmet expectation has turned into bitterness in your life? What could God be asking you about it?