Wrestling With God — Friday
Genesis 32:29
“Please tell me your name,” Jacob said. “Why do you want to know my name?” the man replied. Then he blessed Jacob there. (NLT)
Jacob’s wrestling match with God is winding to an end. And he suddenly realizes all he really wants is to know God. What was wrapped up in Jacob’s request? He might have been asking God for His name, about His character, or something we cannot fathom. What about you? How does this resonate? What would you want to know about the God you’ve wrestled with through a difficult season? Psalm 9:10 reminds us that when we get to know God’s name, we are enabled to trust Him in the ways He has revealed Himself. Because He is faithful and consistent. True to His word and dependable in His character. Something is formed in our belief, our trust, our faith when we see God do His thing, as we see His faithfulness to us, His much-loved children.
Me? I just want to know God. There is so much I’ve learned about my good Father. But so much I have yet to learn. One thing that has remained constant over all the years is a deep awareness that I don’t understand everything right now, and maybe a good helping of the fact I can’t know it all, even if I wanted to.
To wrap up this week, allow me to share from a posture of struggle. I wrote the following journal entry over twenty years ago. My processing on this particular day was in response to several weeks of journaling after I returned from my first mission trip. I went in with no idea what I’d experience. I assumed I’d share more with the people I served than I would learn, but walked away with more than I could have ever given. The journey to serve on-mission in India left me with no real conclusion and no easy answers. From just about every angle, this shocking perspective of the brokenness of the world and the devastation of sin in individual lives and an entire culture left me grieving. It feels like a fitting way to end the week:
It's still on my mind. I dreamed a few weeks ago about an Indian shanty town, and as I got close to the makeshift buildings, the dream became horrible. I realized that their support structure was made of human limbs lashed together with twine.
India was infamy in some ways. In-your-face ugliness... Persecution is real. Racism is approved. Death... They pick up the bodies in the streets at night. Seeing a picture of the dirt roadside in India recently gave me an ache deep inside for the very real people that are living on those streets, breathing the dusty air there even now. They live on the raw edge of life. Will I "get over it"? I don't know.
God, please bless the believers in India. I pray that Your Holy Spirit will empower them to live Christ, breathe Christ, and see many come to You. Life is real. Life is hard. And You are so good.
Friday’s Reflection
That’s where we land sometimes. Without a pretty bow tied to our conclusion. We do know the struggle, the wrestling match is real. It isn’t easy. And there can be something helpful in simply acknowledging that truth. Sometimes, just knowing persistence and patience will lead to transformation, even if merely in our perspective, can be all we need for that moment. But we will discover, in the end, after all is said and done, that God is good.
