Playlist: Sad Songs — Friday
Psalm 42:11
“...I will praise him again…” (NLT)
In conversations like the one we’ve been having this week, I’m always keenly aware of the many unanswered questions this side of heaven that can make suffering feel all the more frustrating and hope all the more unrealistic. Remaining defiant is truly one the hardest things we will ever learn to do, and there’s simply no putting a bow on that.
I have a friend whose childhood was full of trauma, and her scars run deep. Anxiety, depression, and suicidal thoughts began haunting her as a teenager and continue to do so today as she approaches her 30s. She’s almost given up many times… on God, and on life. But she hasn’t yet.
So last week, I decided to ask her why, and this is what she said:
“At this point, God is my first and last option. His love is unlike any other and one that I’ve never been able to escape no matter how hard I try. If I could escape the love of God, I could find a way to leave this life. But with the constant nudging and moments of peace He offers in the dark moments, I always find a reason to stay and follow him.”
We can talk all day about what to do in the midst of despair, just like we can talk all day about what to do to get in shape. But if anything I’ve learned in my own life, when you’re tired and don’t feel like God is worth praising or truth is worth holding onto anymore, it often comes down to your “why.”
For me, what keeps me singing in difficult seasons is my deep-seated trust that God will use my struggle to help others and point them to Him, and I don’t want to miss out on that. For my friend, it’s her undeniable experience of the love of God in her darkest times. So, what’s your “why”?
Is it your gratitude for how He rescued you from your past, or the suffering He endured on the cross for you? Is it the people or things He’s entrusted to your care? The hope of a new body in heaven, or seeing your loved ones again? Or maybe your answer is as simple as Peter’s: “Lord, to whom would we go?”
I don’t think there’s a wrong answer. Maybe all those resonate with you. But whatever your “why” is, know it like your life depends on it. Because one day, it might be the one thing that pushes you to the end of the song—the only thing that gets you to sing, “I will praise him again.”
Friday’s Reflection
Pull out your journal or a piece of paper and write down your “why.” Mark that page in your journal, or put that paper somewhere you’ll be able to find it when you need it.
