Why Not Now: Repairing My Relationship with Friends - Thursday
John 1:38-39
“Turning around, Jesus saw them following and asked, “What do you want?” They said, “Rabbi” (which means “Teacher”), “where are you staying?” “Come,” he replied, “and you will see.” So they went and saw where he was staying, and they spent that day with him.” (NIV)
So far this week, we’ve discovered what some of the most important components are to being a good friend (trust, vulnerability, honesty, and accountability). Today, we’re looking at a couple of other steps to cultivating a friendship worth having. These two are simple to explain, but crucial to have: patience and consistency.
Our Southland Young Adults ministry is made up of tons of different small groups around the Central Kentucky area. Joining a group can be a bit scary and awkward at first, especially if you’ve never been a part of one before. But something I love about our groups are the guiding principles that help make them work— specifically this one: “You gotta push through the awkward to get to the awesome.”
When you first get to know people, there can be some awkwardness. We’re all a little weird in our own ways! For example, I just surveyed a few of my friends around here to see what makes ME weird, and here’s some things they said:
I have abnormally small feet (size 4, specifically).
I only like room temperature beverages (except Ale8, which MUST be cold).
I say midwest phrases that no one here uses (like “boy howdy” and “that really butters my grits” and “you’re darn tootin’”).
I am in my mid-twenties but act like I’m elderly (I have a 9pm bedtime, creaky hips, and I refuse to drive at night).
Despite this (and probably a lot of other strange things that make me myself), my friends have spent enough time with me to get past the weird stuff and love me anyway. But that takes a level of consistency and a willingness to keep “showing up” in each other’s lives. Sometimes it’s over dinner and board games. Sometimes it’s serving together at church, or being in an organized group. And sometimes it’s just a random invitation to go to the grocery store together, or watch their kid’s soccer game, or help rake leaves in each other’s yards. It’s just patiently letting a friendship be built through the practice of consistency and shared time— like Jesus did as the disciples just “spent the day” with Him. And when you push through the awkward, you get to the awesome!
Thursday’s Reflection
If you’re not part of a group at Southland, maybe it’s time to join one! Consistently being a part of a small group is one way to patiently cultivate community and close friendships.
