Why Not Now: Repairing My Relationship with Friends - Friday
1 Thessalonians 5:11
“So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” (NLT)
You can’t make old friends.
I don’t mean old in the literal sense. In fact, the “seasoned saints,” as I like to call them, make excellent friends.
What I mean is that it isn’t possible to make a new friend today who has known you your whole life. It’s not that new friends are any less wonderful, but there’s something to be said for “old friends”— ones who have seen you through several seasons and stages of life. For most of us, old friends are few, but they are precious.
I have a couple of old friends. They started out as my buddies in high school. They were with me when I was 14 and bewildered at a new school, 15 and dating bad boyfriends, 16 and making wild choices, 17 and grappling with my mom’s cancer diagnosis. They became my roommate and companions when I was 18 and went to college, 19 and discovering myself, 20 and depressed, 21 and trying to take the world by storm, 22 and discerning my calling. They were my bridesmaids when I was 23 and got married, my confidants when I was 24 and uncertain of my career, my prayer partners when I was 25 and grieving, my cheerleaders at 26 in a new church and a new job in a new state and a new city. They’re my old friends. My “lifers.”
What sets them apart is that they have accepted me and encouraged me in every stage of my life. They didn’t love me for who they WANTED me to be…they loved me for who I actually was. And they encouraged me to grow. They still do. Those two things, acceptance and encouragement, are our final ingredients to cultivating a friendship worth having.
You can accept someone without endorsing their choices. You can encourage someone without enabling bad behavior. But you can’t have a deep friendship without committing to love someone for who they are right now and being willing to speak encouragement that builds them up towards a life with Jesus.
Friday’s Reflection
Do you have a friend that you have a hard time accepting because of their lifestyle or choices? Pray that God would give you the ability to love them for who they are and the wisdom to build them up by encouraging them with truth and love.
