Slaying Dragons: Lust — Monday
Proverbs 4:23
Above all else, guard your heart… (NIV)
He was very nervous and fidgety when he entered my office; a young, successful businessman, he was well-liked, friendly, outgoing, and had a wonderful wife and two adorable kids. I knew immediately that something was terribly wrong. “What’s going on?” I asked, and “How can I help?”
“I can’t believe what I’ve done,” he blurted out. “I love my wife and kids…” His voice trailed off. After a long pause, he looked up and said, “Somehow I’ve had an affair. It’s the last thing I ever thought I’d be capable of doing.”
For the next 30 minutes or so, he unpacked the story—a story I’ve heard many times. “I met her at work,” he said. “She was fun to talk to, a great listener, and I became attracted to her. I started looking forward to seeing her, being in meetings with her, thinking about her all the time. One day she shared some good news with me, and I hugged her, and… well… something just clicked. Within a few weeks, we were in a hotel room together. It all happened so fast. What should I do?”
“Well, let’s start by telling your wife,” I replied.
“I don’t think I could do that alone,” he said.
“Fine, we’ll do it together. I’ll call her right now and ask her to come to the office.” Ten minutes later, she entered. I asked her to be seated and told her, “Bob (not his real name) has some things he needs to say.” He started crying; so did she. I sensed she knew. Somehow, most women usually do.
What followed were a lot of questions and some excruciating answers. It was painful, but God intervened. Remarkably, two hours later, she took his hand and said, “I love you and forgive you. Somehow, we’ll get through this.” I’m always amazed at the healing power of forgiveness, especially when it’s least deserved.
They went for extensive counseling and began the arduous work of rebuilding trust. They laid out a plan for the future, and their marriage survived. Today, I would say they’re both healed, but the memory… well, the memory will never go away.
Monday’s Reflection
Take a few moments to read David’s prayer in Psalm 51:1-13, written nearly a year after his affair with Bathsheba. It’s sobering, especially verse 3: “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.” It’s a Psalm that never would've been written had David made better choices. Here’s the takeaway: We make our choices; then our choices make us... and yet, there’s hope. More on that tomorrow.
