Wrestling With God — Monday
Genesis 32:22-24
During the night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two servant wives, and his eleven sons and crossed the Jabbok River with them. After taking them to the other side, he sent over all his possessions. This left Jacob all alone in the camp, and a man came and wrestled with him until the dawn began to break. (NLT)
When’s the last time you were lying awake in the dark thinking about that thing that happened or happened to you, that thing you did or was done to you, that thing you said or was said to you… and you turn over to check the time, discovering it’s right around 3am? Just me, or is it you, too?
If I’m wide awake at three in the morning, it’s almost guaranteed that I’m wrestling with something. A sleep specialist once shared with me that our brain continues to process our life as we sleep. And there’s this moment about five hours into the sleep cycle when our brain will wake us up, ready for a wrestling match. My fairly dependable 10pm bedtime means that little jolt of adrenaline (which has ruined many a night of peaceful sleep for me) smacks me in the face at around 3am just about every time.
I usually wade into those 3am wrestling matches with one or more of the following strategies: Think about it. Pray about it. Forget about it. I know, I know… The best option is the second, if I’m going to choose just one approach. But taking all three together is often the best route if I hope to have any chance of getting back to sleep that night. Process, pray through, and release it. Works most of the time. But just as real-life conflict doesn’t resolve in a pretty package like a 30-minute television episode, the wrestling match of our dark nights isn’t always something we can just “put back to bed” in three simple steps.
F. Scott Fitzgerald once said, “In a real dark night of the soul it is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day.” That’s when it gets really raw. The wrestling match in our thoughts… the struggle with trusting God or accepting His response, or seeming lack thereof… disappointment with the fact we can’t just set it down because our wrestling is so intense, and the season is so severe. There are no simple answers.
For today, let’s acknowledge that there are times we wrestle with God, and that there is something significant about finding our way to a place of peace and rest in these seasons.
Monday’s Reflection
Psalm 4:8 says, “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe.” Pray and ask God to intervene and hold you close in this difficult season—or the seasons to come. He is trustworthy and will be faithful.
