Counterfeit: Masculinity — Wednesday
Ephesians 5:21
…submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (NLT)
In the first few weeks after I met my bride-to-be, Valentine's Day rolled around. I said, “What would you like to do for Valentine’s Day?” To which Sara replied, “I don’t do Valentine's Day.” This was the beginning of our long friendship, learning one another’s preferences, likes, and dislikes. Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. As I say in weddings I preach, we were learning to “honor one another and lift each other up.”
We’ve established a few understandings along the way:
We don’t hold hands outside on a hot day
We don’t camp out or sleep under the stars in any fashion
We don’t eat at KFC together - she used to work there.
We won’t ever speak of owning an RV.
We don’t go to Chipotle or Q-Doba together - only Moe’s.
We’re still individuals with our own preferences, but together, as one, we submit to one another and think not only about our own likes or dislikes but about the other and what they would want. And we’ve learned this through getting to know one another and, as Paul puts it in Philippians 2, considering the other better than ourselves.
Now, I love KFC. And I think Q-Doba rocks. I enjoy camping out. And I can still do those things. But I don’t have to insist on them as conditions for love and friendship with my bride. This takes the pressure off. Our marriage is not performance-driven. We simply look for ways to encourage and lift each other up, to meet each other’s needs and preferences.
And, do you know what this “laying-down-of-preferences” has been for us? The pathway to joy.
Wednesday’s Reflection
Paul reminds us in his letter from I Corinthians 13:7 that, “Love puts up with all things, trusts in all things, hopes for all things, endures all things.” (CEB) How can you express love to others, whether it’s your spouse or a good friend, by honoring the other in order to welcome deep joy into that relationship?
