Sucker Punch – Battling Depression - Monday
Today’s Verse
1 Kings 19:4
Then he went on alone into the wilderness, traveling all day. He sat down under a solitary broom tree and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors who have already died.” (NLT)
Unpredictable. The season of my life between graduating high school and starting college was nothing short of unpredictable. A fracturing of friends, routine, familiarity, and belonging all came to a crossroads at graduation. What’s next? What will I do? Where will I go?
Like Elijah in 1 Kings 19, I found myself pioneering into the wilderness—traveling all day—without far to go. In college, I commuted and lived with my amazing parents. But somehow, I was mentally paving a path to my very own “solitary broom tree” with the only resort being a plea to God—Help!
Depression. Life’s circumstances caught up to me and caught me off guard at the same time. Since childhood, I had wrestled off and on with the double-edged sword of anxiety and depression. Never before had depression swooped in with such subtlety and oppression at the same time. With my new, tangibly dark and heavy companion, I settled in. I had tunnel vision: the periphery was blurred and I faced my class load, part-time job, and future planning accompanied by loneliness, isolation, and apathy.
Help. In verse 4, Elijah says aloud what we whisper in the dark: “Take my life…”. Do you know the good news? There was a plan for me beyond my immediate circumstances and a good Father ready to hear my pitiful, angry, tearful prayers.
In moments when I manage to calm the whirlwind of anxiety and depression, break free from tunnel vision, and look up, I’ve been able to catch a glimpse of perspective. After innumerable rough, honest, and unchurched prayers that felt like they must have been muffled before they reached the Lord, I slowly (agonizingly slow) started to gain new perspective. Which slowly turned into renewed hope.
If you’re struggling with or know someone struggling with depression, Paul is a great person to look to in the Bible. He notably references a thorn in his flesh that torments him (2 Corinthians 12:7), but 2 Corinthians 12:9 (ESV) gives me immense hope (and the motivation for sharing my story here):
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
In crisis right now? Call 988 or visit here for immediate help.
REFLECTION
There is more for you than depression and more than your depression will have you believe. There are also many avenues for help, so please don’t give up. Southland loves you, and Jesus loves you and wants more for you than you can imagine. Get in touch with us for all the different ways our Care Team can help you like prayer, counseling referrals, and more.
