Why You Don’t Pray

Talking With God In Your Twenties

There were two main prayers I said throughout my early twenties. There was the one I said in front of people: “Heavenly Father, we thank you for this delicious meal, prepared here in the beautiful home of Mr. and Mrs. (insert girl’s last name), which is almost as lovely as their daughter, whom I am so lucky to have on my arm.”

Give the people what they want to hear. 

And then there was the desperation Hail Mary throw: “Dear God, please help. Oh gosh, this is bad. This is very bad. Need help now. God please help NOW!” 

It’s not a particularly deep prayer—but always genuine.

Apart from those, there wasn’t much conversation happening between me and the Man upstairs.

This wasn’t always the case. In fact, I was raised in a house where prayer was the main ingredient. We prayed about everything. We prayed before dinner. We prayed before bed. My mom, the greatest prayer warrior of all time, even taught me to pray for people who had hurt me. 

But once I reached my twenties and moved out of the house, for some reason, the praying stopped.

It certainly wasn’t because I didn’t believe. I noticed His presence daily in the early morning fog and late evening sunsets. I heard His voice through uplifting worship and powerful sermons. I’d seen God do incredible things, both in my life and in the lives of others. 

I was still a Christian. I still went to church. I still believed. 

But I was on my own now—I didn’t need to consult or run anything by anyone. I was young, independent. Care-free and prayer-free.

One day, I heard that an old friend of mine was coming into town. I’d worked with them a few years prior before they relocated for another position within the company. Despite our close relationship back then, we’d slowly lost touch over the years. So I was excited to learn through the grapevine that they’d be in town that afternoon for a meeting right here in my building! Knowing this person would definitely swing by my office to see their long-lost buddy Connor, I cleared my schedule for lunch, excited for the opportunity to catch up with them. I watched the door anxiously all morning—11:30, noon, 1:00. 2:00…They still hadn’t responded to my text, and when I finally got a response from them a few days later, it was short and sweet: “Sorry! Things are so crazy right now. Miss you!” Even though my brain understood how busy they were, my heart didn’t. What was so important in their life that they couldn’t spare a few minutes? We used to talk all the time—what happened? Come to think of it, I couldn’t even remember the last time we had a conversation. The truth was as ugly as it was profound: Our friendship wasn’t a priority for them anymore.

Remembering mom’s advice to pray for those who had hurt me, I took a long, deep sigh and bowed my head. “Hey, God—it’s me.”

Gently, I felt the Holy Spirit nudge me, warm and sympathetic: “Connor, it’s good to hear from you.”

He had a point… it had been a while. I couldn’t even remember the last time God and I had a conversation. I guess my friendship with Jesus hadn’t been much of a priority, either.

There’s no one busier in the world than God, and yet no one with more free time. Time to listen, time to comfort. Time to sit and enjoy just being with you.

Most people would agree that the best friends in life are the kinds of friends you can talk to about anything: your wants, your desires, your worries—even your deepest fears. Prayer is the relational, intimate, one-on-one time God wants to have with us. But if you’re anything like me, the excuses you’ve given Him have added up over the years: “Sorry! Things are so crazy right now.”

Let me ask a tough question: What’s so important in your life that you can’t spare a few minutes?

James, the younger brother of Jesus, tells us that ALL of what we experience in this life not only can, but should be covered in prayer:

James 5:13-15 (NIV) — Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up.

Maybe today you’re in trouble (hope not), or maybe you’re happy. Maybe you’re stressed or worried or scared. Or maybe, like me,you’ve spent a lot of your twenties feeling pretty lonely. I don’t know where you find yourself today, but what I can tell you is that wherever that is, God wants to be there with you. And speaking from my own experience, there’s no better company in this world than Him. 

One of the first Bible verses I memorized as a kid is still one of my favorites today (and one of the shortest):

1 Thessalonians 5:17 (NIV) — …pray continually…

It’s easy to remember, but still so easy to forget. Our conversations with God may feel one-sided, but He hears every word that’s on our heart, and often responds in ways we would never expect. Our ongoing dialogue brings Him joy and, over time, strengthens our relationship with the Father.

My prayer for you is that you would start that conversation with Him today. Wherever you are, whatever you’re going through—know that God not only can hear you, but wants to hear from you. 

So, do yourself a big favor and catch Him up on everything.

Connor Hall
Young Adults Ministry Coordinator