I Deserve This
The Discipline of Denying Self
I deserve this! I’ve put in the work and the time. You know what, I’ve earned it! I deserve the promotion, the day off, AND the bigger paycheck. And those entry-level tasks? I’ve earned the right to not do those anymore, those things are for interns and newbies. I’m above that now. As a matter of fact, I should sleep in tomorrow. Eat that doughnut. Take that vacation. I deserve this!
Don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of doughnuts, vacations, and sleeping in, but “I deserve this” has to be one of the biggest lies we tell ourselves as Christians.
I can understand why the world believes it. Survival of the fittest is rooted in “I’ve earned this”. But when that belief sneaks into our Biblical Worldview…we are treading on dangerous ground. This is why I encourage Christians to completely remove the phrase “I deserve this” from our vocabulary.
Well, with one exception. There is one thing we deserve.
What I Do Deserve?
Paul writes to the church in Rome, “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23), and “the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). The one and only thing we all deserve is death. Now bear with me. I know what you’re probably sarcastically thinking, “I’m sure glad I’m reading this article right now, how encouraging!” But I think this is a crucial perspective we as believers must choose in order to truly live as joyful Christ followers.
If we truly believe Paul when he teaches that we as sinners deserve death and goes on to say “but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 6:23) then everything changes. And when it comes to what we deserve we can shift our mindset from entitlement to gratitude. Entitlement is one of the most corruptive feelings a heart can have and it has no place in the Christ Follower.
I’m the Problem
When you read this I hope you know I’m not attacking you. I’m primarily writing this to myself. I’m probably the most self-centered person I know. That’s one of the reasons I no longer post anything on social media because if I do I’m constantly worrying about how others have reacted to it. Did they like it? Do they think I’m funny? Did the people I wanted to comment see the post? I find myself constantly checking back in to see how I was received. I am also constantly fighting the battle of entitlement. I see someone needing help and I think “I’ve got important stuff I’m working on, someone else will take care of it”. I love to think about myself and how things can work out best for me.
Over the past two years, I’ve been hearing the same thing from God about where I need to grow. I think it’s best summed up in Mark 8:34 when Jesus says, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me”. There have been so many times recently when I’ve gone through a Bible study or prayed for a word from God and heard back, “Stop thinking about yourself so much!”
Gratitude > Entitlement
To free ourselves from self-centeredness the first thing we must understand is the fact that the only thing we deserve is death. After that, everything good we receive in life is a gift from God. We live in the most comfortable time in history and it can be easy to accept the cushy life we’ve been given as a right, but it’s not. Every good thing we have is because of the grace of God. As believers, we must become the most gratitude-filled people in the world.
I’ve found my kids are great at teaching me this principle. When I pray with them at night they like to prolong the time before bed. The way they do this is by listing everything they are thankful for. “God, thank you for food, books, water, my friends, family, walls, gingerbread houses…” The list goes on and on! In my self-centered moments, this frustrates me because I know they just don’t want to go to sleep. But in the days where I’m better a letting the Spirit lead, I relish in the child-like faith they have to truly thank God for everything they can think of or see at the moment. That’s what we should be like every minute of every day! Thanking God for every part of our life that He has given us.
Serve > Deserve
Once we’ve taken a posture of gratitude it becomes much easier for us to serve rather than feel we deserve. When an interruption comes our way, instead of getting pouty and gritting our teeth through it, we instead choose gratitude. I’ve done my best to say this when things are getting in the way of what I think I deserve: “What a great opportunity to deny myself and follow Jesus!” And yes, sometimes I say it in a sarcastic way. But I’ve found it helps to remind me of what my calling as a Jesus follower is. Not to serve me, but to always serve others.
After all, Jesus, the only person to walk the Earth who did deserve to be served spent his entire life serving others. He was the only person who lived a sinless life and earned the right to not die, but he still chose to die for us. Paul says it this way in Philippians 2:
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others. In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!
If Christ chose humility in that way what is our excuse? Why should we ever feel entitled to anything? Why should we ever not be grateful?
Why Deny Self?
I believe as we progress through our young adult years choosing to deny ourselves and serve others will only prove fruitful. As you enter the workforce, this will develop character in you and in most cases set you apart from your peers. What boss or client isn’t looking for someone who goes above and beyond to serve? If you are dating, engaged, or married, this may be the MOST important concept to grasp. I recently worked through pre-marriage content with a few couples. I found myself every session coming back to this truth: marrying someone is choosing to put their needs before your own every single day. You can no longer be the most important person in your life. That truth becomes even more important if you get the gift of children. They will demand your attention. Your choice is to either deny yourself or deny them.
Denying yourself, picking up your cross, and following Jesus is a cure for all forms of self-centeredness. So the question stands: Will you join me in this pursuit? To choose gratitude instead of entitlement? To deny yourself, pick up your cross, and follow Jesus? To remove the phrase “I deserve this” from your vocabulary and instead choose to serve others? I pray you will! And I know transformation will come if you do.
PS: If you’re looking for much better teaching on this I highly encourage you to pick up a copy of Tim Keller’s The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness. Not only is it packed full of truth and wisdom it’s also only about 45 pages - I love a short read that makes an impact!
Ian Schweitzer
Groups & Outreach Pastor - Georgetown