Older People Are Cool
Why Finding A Mentor May Change Your Life
If you’re anything like me at this point in young adulthood, you’ve gotten your rhythm down in your day-to-day life. You wake up. Maybe drink a cup of coffee or two (like me), go to work, maybe do a little workout, hang out with some friends, come home, go to sleep, and then do it all over again the next day. You feel like you know what to expect most days, and you have some sort of idea or plan for how your next few days, weeks, months, and even years will unfold.
But you’ve also probably figured out by now that life isn’t always that cookie-cutter, and our plans often don’t unfold how we think they will. So what do you do when times get hard and you don’t know where to turn? Where do you go in the moments that leave you wondering, How did I get here? What should I do? Who do you turn to?
The good news is that you don’t have to go at it alone, nor do you have to seek advice from Negative Nancy in the cubicle next to you. There are so many older, wiser people who have walked through the stage of life that you are in, and they WANT to help you. That’s why it’s important to make mentorship a part of your life!
Philippians 3:17 says, “Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do.”
“Follow my example…”
I know for myself, there has always been a longing to want to learn and follow someone older and wiser than me, so hopefully I won’t make poor decisions in my life (plot twist: I still do, just less often…). I think this is also true for a lot of people—most of us naturally desire someone to guide us.
Being able to follow in someone’s footsteps in how they lead, serve, and love others is not only important in maturing yourself, but also in your faith and walk with Jesus. Having a mentor isn’t just about sitting down and having coffee with someone and discussing problems or ideas. It’s doing as they do, and doing life right beside them—just like Jesus and the disciples. They followed closely in His footsteps to learn as He did. That’s what learning looked like in their culture. People would follow rabbis to learn and grow. We see that they made mistakes, but Jesus corrected them and helped guide their next steps.
Having a mentor is someone that wants the best for you, but will still be honest with you.
They always say honesty is the best policy, but oftentimes we find ourselves in situations where not giving someone the full truth is easier than being completely transparent with them. A mentor knows this tension but pursues truth with grace to guide you. This person has the maturity to see things from the outside looking in. Their honesty is based on God’s wisdom rather than emotion or personal opinion. Their words flow from scripture, and their heart is chasing after Jesus. Psalm 42:1 says, “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.” This is what you look for in someone you want to help guide you through this crazy life.
We say this a lot around Southland: Life is better when we are living it in community. I have said it once, and I can say it a million times more: If you are surrounding yourself with people who aren’t pursuing the Lord, you will pick up the habits of someone who doesn’t follow Jesus. But when you surround yourself with people who are pursuing the Lord, you will start to take on traits of those people. Just like Matthew 18:20 says, “For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.” This goes back to why it is so important to find a mentor who loves Jesus—doing life alone isn’t how the Lord designed us! Community isn’t just people that you hang out with on the weekends or the people that you see at work every day. Being in community means having people in your life who are going the same direction you are (toward Jesus) and who intentionally walk alongside you—including people who have been walking a little longer than you have. When you surround yourself with that kind of community, wisdom will start to flow without you even noticing it.
So now you wonder… “How do I even go about finding a great mentor?” Well, I am so glad you asked! Picture one person you know who has a deep and growing relationship with our Creator—someone who exemplifies Jesus and is in constant pursuit of Him. This person has high character and leads with wisdom. They are also older and further along in their stage of life than you. Choose them. Choose that person! That is the kind of person you want to surround yourself with and do life with, so have a conversation with them about what it might look like for them to guide you in your walk with the Lord and in life.
Some of you might be reading this and thinking to yourself, I don’t know anyone like that! Well, that is exactly why we have Young Adult groups at Southland! Not only are you able to connect with people who are in a similar stage of life as you, but you’re also led by older couples who love Jesus and genuinely want to invest in you. (And that’s not our idea, it’s God’s idea—check out Titus 2:2-7). So if you’re not in a Young Adult group yet, join one here!
But here's the kicker about having mentors: You have to be willing to listen to them. You have to be willing to receive grace, but also accept truth. It is HARD. Let me tell you. None of it is easy. But they are telling you things and showing you things because they love you. Some of the biggest life lessons I have learned are from women that have helped guide me in some of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make. Any of them could tell you that it wasn’t easy, but they have helped me get to a place of growth and healing that I never thought I could get to. I got there, but not on my own. For that, I am completely thankful. They have constantly reminded me that even when you can’t hear Jesus’ voice, that doesn’t mean that He is not present. I want that for each and every single one of you reading this. So don’t give up. Jesus hasn’t given up on you, and there are people out there who want to walk alongside you.
Life is crazy, and it’s no fun when we do it alone. We all need older, wiser people to help guide us, so I encourage you to seek them out. I promise you’ll be glad you did. Also, a special shoutout to all the women who have walked alongside me when I wasn’t willing to listen but showed me an immense amount of grace. I still have a ways to go, but you’ll never know how grateful I am for you. I guess… old people are pretty cool.
Toria Howard
Marketing Coordinator
