The Lonely Generation
Why The Local Church Matters
We live in a world with endless opportunity at our fingertips. We have 24-hour news networks to keep us informed and more streaming services than we could even name. We can watch a video on YouTube to learn how to do just about anything, and we have social media to keep us connected to people spread out across the globe.
Yet a study conducted in 2021 found that 58% of Americans consider themselves lonely. This number is even higher among young adults. Of the 18-24 year olds surveyed, 79% reported feeling lonely. In our interconnected world, we are somehow more isolated than ever.
I was thirteen when the 2004 movie 13 Going on 30 released. As Jenna Rink sat blindfolded in her closet and said over and over that she wanted to be “thirty and flirty and thriving,” I could totally relate. Surely by thirty I would have life all figured out!
But I turned thirty back in December, and I can unfortunately report that I still don’t have it all figured out. Thriving in your young adult years is tough! Life at this age looks a lot different than it did when I was in college. I used to hang out with my friends at least five nights a week. Now, I’m doing well if I see them every couple of months!
It’s not really that surprising that 79% of us are lonely. The question is, what can we do about it? Plenty of smart people have opinions on this subject. But while advice like “Be kind to yourself” or “Be the friend you’d like to have” is nice, it comes up short at the end of the day. We don’t need more self-love to fight this battle; we need the church.
The Room Where it Happens
Thanks to technology, churches can now broadcast their Sunday morning services to anyone with access to the Internet. If I wanted, I could livestream a Sunday morning church service in Australia from the comfort of my couch in Kentucky on Saturday night! Though we are separated by more than 10,000 miles, I can almost feel like I’m right there in the room...
Except I’m not.
Even though livestream technology is a blessing, God’s intention is that all believers become involved in a local church. We come together “live and in person” because church is much bigger than what happens on Sunday morning. Our local church is supposed to be our family! When Jesus’ mother and brothers came looking for him in Matthew 12, “Jesus asked, ‘Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?’ Then he pointed to his disciples and said, ‘Look, these are my mother and brothers. Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother!’” (v. 48-50).
That’s a pretty radical claim, because my family means a lot to me. How could Jesus identify other people as more like family than His own blood relatives? Jesus knew that the church is a family that lasts into eternity. There are men and women in the world today who were completely cast out by their families when they chose to put their faith in Jesus. They lost their loved ones, their communities, and their homes. But when they became a part of the body of Christ, they became a part of a family that can never be taken from them!
During our young adult years, so many of us bounce around from one church to the other. We live in a consumer-driven culture, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of church shopping. But the local church is a family, not a consumable good. And if we really believe that, then it requires us to make a lasting commitment. Maybe the reason you feel disconnected from the church is because you’ve never stuck around long enough to become an invested member of the family. Or maybe you lack Christian community because you’ve let other good things in life, like traveling for work or hanging out at the lake with friends on the weekends, take priority over the best thing in your life: your relationship with Jesus.
When Jesus was twelve years old, He traveled to Jerusalem with His parents to celebrate the Passover. On the trip home, Jesus got lost in the crowd. At first, His parents weren’t concerned; He was probably just playing in another part of the caravan. But when He still hadn’t shown up by nightfall, they were worried. They backtracked to Jerusalem and began looking for Him there. After three days of frantic searching, they finally found Jesus in the Temple. He was sitting with the religious leaders, listening to them and asking questions. When His parents told Him they had been searching everywhere, Jesus was confused. “‘But why did you need to search?’ he asked. ‘Didn’t you know that I must be in my Father’s house?’” (Luke 2:49).
Being in God’s house was essential to Jesus, and it is essential for His followers today. His house and His family must be a priority for us. We aren’t called to be casual church consumers; we are called to be committed church members.
Blueprint for the Church
Maybe the problem is that we’ve bought into the lie that church is boring… just a box to check off at the beginning of the week. But church was never meant to be a building where you spend one hour on Sundays, and it certainly was never meant to be boring! God intends for it to be so much more:
All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper), and to prayer. A deep sense of awe came over them all, and the apostles performed many miraculous signs and wonders. And all the believers met together in one place and shared everything they had. They sold their property and possessions and shared the money with those in need. They worshiped together at the Temple each day, met in homes for the Lord’s Supper, and shared their meals with great joy and generosity—all the while praising God and enjoying the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved. (Acts 2:42-47)
How do you feel when you read those words? Does Luke’s description of the early church look similar to your experience with church today? You certainly can’t get this through a screen. This kind of community is lived up-close and personal in the church.
Acts 2 in 2022
2,000 years have passed since the church was born, and the world has changed dramatically. But the tight-knit, loving community the early believers had in Acts 2 is still our template for the church today! Our local church community is where we grow in Christ together. We make being together a priority, and we devote ourselves to learning more about God’s Word. We dig deep and ask hard questions. We read the Bible together and challenge each other. We share meals and laugh together. We enjoy each other’s company!
In the local church, we love and encourage one another. We pray for those in need. And we don’t just pray for them; we come alongside them with support and try to meet those needs! The men and women of the early church sold what they had and used the money to take care of others in the church. How convicting is that?! Can you remember the last time you gave up something you wanted in order to help a friend in need? Have you ever done that?
In the local church, we worship together. In a church the size of Southland, it’s easy to get lost in the crowd. Some people like it that way: Get in and get out without anyone recognizing you or asking anything of you. But those people are missing out on the great joy of walking into church and being truly seen by others in your community. When we commit to serving in the local church, we get to know others around us. And instead of being a nameless face in the crowd, you are recognized, loved, and missed when you’re gone. Church isn’t meant to be an anonymous experience; it’s meant to be a place where people know you and they love you anyway!
Light in the Darkness
Above all, the local church doesn’t keep this love and goodness to itself. We exist to bring light into our community and the rest of the world! From the very beginning, the message of the Gospel was so controversial that believing it could put your life in danger. Yet Acts 2:47 says the church enjoyed “the goodwill of all the people. And each day the Lord added to their fellowship those who were being saved.”
The love of Jesus is attractive to a world living in darkness. In a generation where 79% of young adult men and women label themselves as lonely, a thriving local church community is like water in the desert. When Jesus’ followers love each other well in the local church, those on the outside will take notice. And when they do, we won’t slam the door in their face. Because the local church is NOT an exclusive club; it’s a community where all are welcomed and loved.
Next Steps
Maybe you’re reading this and your life is already 100% full of fulfilling friendships and community. Maybe you really are “thirty and flirty and thriving.” Seriously, that’s awesome! But I have a hunch that you might just be one of the 79% of lonely young adults longing for real and lasting community. If that’s you, here are some practical next steps you can take to live life with Jesus, in community, and on mission here at Southland:
Prioritize attending service on Sunday morning in person.
Challenge yourself to attend service in person every Sunday in October. And hey, why not sit in the same spot each week? You might just get to know the people sitting around you.
Join a group!
If you haven’t already, join one of Southland’s Young Adult groups. Joining a group will make this big church feel like a small church. You’ll meet people who are in the same season of life and dealing with the same issues. Who knows? Maybe your very best friends are still waiting to meet you! Check out the Groups page here and sign up now!
Serve with Southland.
Remember that the church doesn’t exist to meet your needs; YOU help meet the needs of the church! When God created you, He gifted you with a unique set of skills, and we need you to use those gifts God gave you! There are SO many opportunities to serve here at Southland. If you love the Bible and want to share God’s Big Story with the next generation, you can jump into The Big Picture Show and serve in one of our children’s environments! If you love people and hospitality, you can volunteer with Guest Experience! Hold a door, serve a donut, and get to know the awesome people in your Southland family. These are just some of the opportunities you have to serve. Head over to the Volunteer page to get the process started!
Lauren Oliver
Children’s Curriculum Developer
